If I had my life to live over, I'd live over a delicatessen.

Only a mediocre person is ever at their best.

Choose your friends, your enemies will choose you.

Always decide not to decide, unless of course you decide to change your mind.

Love is of chemistry, sex is of physics.

Being overweight just sort of snacks up on you.

A man is only as good as what he loves.

Skydiving . . . good to the last drop.

A song only has to sound like it means something.

I'm a Libra. They say I'm indecisive . . . I'm not indecisive! . . Am I indecisive?

The worst thing about censorship is ___________ !

It took my brother three marriages to understand the importance of monogamy.

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kick boxing.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance."

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school; you'll be working for them in the future.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.