An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he's drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says "Hey, what's that little green thing down there?"

The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a raspberry, "SPLBLBLBT!," right in the face and runs back to the Irishman.

The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, "Hey, what is that thing, anyway?"

The Irishman replies, "Have some respect. He's a leprechaun."

"Oh, all right." the Englishman says sullenly. They all go back to drinking beer.

An hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered. "Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard!" he says. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a spit bath again ...... SPLBLBLBT!

This time the Englishman is really mad! "Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I'll cut his dick off!" he shouts.

"You can't do that" says the Irishman. "Leprechauns don't have dicks."

"How do they pee, then?" asks the Englishman.

"They don't," says the Irishman. "They go SPLBLBLBT."