The US Justice Department - unable to sentence Bill Gates to any meaningful economic fine decided that his punishment would be more severe - and sentenced him to eternity in Hell.

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Frankly releasing Windows 95 two years early, would by itself, have landed you here. Windows Millennium, on the other hand.... Let's not even go there. But enough of that.

"You've arrived on a day when I'm in a good mood, so I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are being tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are being chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young woman with an alluring look on her face, at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner.

Without hesitation thinking he outsmarted the devil, Bill says, "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan then locks the door.

As Satan turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best room in the house?"

"That's what everyone thinks," snickered Satan.

"What about that spanking brand-new PC?"

"Oh, if you look carefully, you'll see that it crashed!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys."

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

"The vintage wine?" inquires Lucifer.

"The bottle of wine you see - it has a hole in it. and that beautiful young lady - she doesn't!"