Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson aren't the only ones who have had a candy bar named after them. MOUNDS was named after Dolly Parton.

America is in an identity crisis: We are trying to find out who we are, where we're coming from, where we're going, what we're made of, and how to lose 10 to 20 pounds of it.

I finally did something about my weight: I stopped getting on the scale.

You know it's time to diet when you nod one chin and two others second the motion.

A woman dining at a French restaurant asked her friend, "What are the snails like here?" Without missing a beat, the friend replied, "They're disguised as waiters."

Looking at his portly patient, the doctor hands him a prescription and says, "Mr. Jones, you should make sure that you try to take these pills on an empty stomach...if such an opportunity ever presents itself!"

The three major food groups are canned, frozen and takeout.

I'm in perfect health and I eat from the four basic food groups: salt, sugar, alcohol and grease.

Obesity has now been linked to religion and to the number of hours you watch TV. And all this time I thought it had something to do with food.