In the wake of recent events, the President has asked that we unite for a common cause. Money, flag raising and other patriotic efforts are not enough. As you may know, "hard line" Islamic followers cannot stand nudity. Especially female nudity. They consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife.

Thus, tonight at 7:00, all women should run out of their house naked to help weed out the terrorists.

The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you.

God Bless America