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Signs You've Chosen a No Frills Airline: * They don't sell tickets, they sell chances. * All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out. * Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot. * You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change. * Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro. * The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas. * When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking. * The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway. * You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once." * No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes. * You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane. * All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.
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