Why is simplification a longer word than complexity?

Parachute for sale. No strings attached.

If it could, what would an onion relish?

Confused? Don't be so sure.

Today is the last day of the middle of the end of the beginning. It is also the first.

I am a sub conscientious objector.

We really should discuss this non-negotiability you keep going on about.

Anagram isn't an anagram of anything.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better

I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Please try to get the voices in your head to come to a consensus.

I'm already visualizing the masking tape over your mouth.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.