I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure.

Graffitti seen in Pompeii : Everyone writes on the walls but me.

Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.

Procrastinate now!

I've told you for the fifty-thousandth time, stop exaggerating.

Young Man: Why do philosophers ask so many questions?
Old Philosopher: Why shouldn't philosophers ask so many questions?

What is the world to a man who's wife is a widow.

A stone was placed at a ford in a river with the inscription:
"When this stone is covered it is dangerous to ford here."

In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees.
This sudden rise of temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat.

"Have you lived in this village all your life?"
"No, not yet."

"Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village?"
"We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago."

"Hey, somebody cut the end off this rope!"

"Hey, Trixie, what's your earliest memory?"
"Umm... I don't remember!"

Overheard in hotel:
"It's eight o'clock, sir!"
"Why the devil didn't you tell me that before?"

I tripped over a hole that was sticking up out of the ground.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

People have one thing in common: they are all different.

As famous as the unknown soldier.

Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on.