John O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters Club. One evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, he won the contest held to see who could deliver the best toast of the evening. His prize-winning toast: "Here's To The Best Years o' Me Life, Spent Between The Legs o' Me Wife."

When he arrived home his beautiful wife asked him how the Toast Masters meeting went. He said, "I won the contest for the best toast of the evening, and here is my toast." He then recited "Here's To The Best Years o' me Life, Spent in Church wi' me Wife." She said "Why John, that's so nice of you to include me in your Toast."

The next morning she was downtown shopping and ran into the local policeman on the beat who had also been at the Toast Masters meeting with her husband. He said "Mrs. O'Riley, that was a great toast your husband gave last night. He won first prize with it, y'know."

"Oh yes, I know for sure," said Mrs. O'Riley. "But I must tell you he wasn't quite honest with the facts. Truth is, he's only been there twice. The first time he fell asleep and the second time I had to pull him out by his ears."