A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

A perfectionist is one who takes great pains, and gives them to everyone else.

A picture may be worth a thousand words but it uses up a thousand times more memory.

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Character is like a fence - it cannot be strengthened by whitewash.

Grandma's advice: Do your best and leave the rest.

In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

No one should live by the early bird policy without finding out whether he classifies as a bird or a worm.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

The measure of a man's intelligence is inversely proportional to the amount of time he keeps his mouth open.

The trouble with staying at home is you never find out just how good it is to get back.

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Usually, that individual is crazy.