AFROPHOBIA
Fear of the return of the 70s hair styles (or the Jackson Five).

PSEUDONYMHOMANIA
Compulsive desire to have a lot of sex under an assumed name.

DEJA FLU
The feeling that one has had this cold before.

HYPOCOINDRIA
Fear of not having correct change.

HAIRPIECE SWIMPLEX
Rash caused by wearing a toupee in a pool.

HERPES CINEPLEX
Rash caused by movie tickets priced at $9.50.

CELESTIAL SEASONINGS AFFECTIVE DISORDER
Herbal-tea addiction.

VISACARDITIS
The heart-stopping sensation brought on by exceeding your credit limit.

ALPOPLEXY
Canine feeding disorder.

STREISAND-BROLIN SYNDROME
Excessive displays of affection.

SONSTROKE
An attack during the reading of a will.

ROSWELL-BABY SYNDROME
Irrational fear that one's infant might be an alien.

OREOPOROSIS
Disorder caused by too many cookies, not enough milk.