PC Message Glossary
A somewhat improved glossary of your PC's messages
(By Kevin Pease)

It says: "Press Any Key"
It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."

It says: "Press A Key"
(This one's a programmers joke.)
Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.

It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E"
It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."

It says: "Installing program to C:\...."
It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."

It says: "Please insert disk 7"
It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 6 disks."

It says: "Not enough memory"
It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K."

It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...."
It means: "...however, if you put the CD in right side up..."

It says: "Please Wait...."
It means: "...indefinitely."

It says: "Directory does not exist...."
It means: "....any more. Woops."

It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back."