To: All Corporate Employees
Subject: Copier!
Date: Friday, May 4, 2001

PLEASE PLEASE please please please - I am begging here - keep any and all paper clips away from the copier!

We have had two service calls in the last few days removing paper clips, staples and a binder clip from the innards of the copier.

PLEASE be really really really really careful around the copier. Especially the document handler, which seems to suck clits like a vacuum cleaner.