On a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, a guy stood on the first tee at his country club. He had just pulled out his driver when a young woman in a wedding gown came running up to him, crying.

"You bastard!" she screamed in his face. "You lousy no-good rotten damn stinking bastard!"

"What's your problem, sweetie?" he calmly replied. "I distinctly told you 'only if it rained'."