10. Erases hard drive, replaces it with exactly what was there before.

9. You turn on the computer and it starts spitting out $50s.

8. Attacks processor by decreasing RAM by 20 megabytes -- basically turns cursor into Ms. Pac Man.

7. All your software now registered to some guy named "Shecky."

6. All the adult sites now have photos of nude Bill Gates.

5. You now have access to only 48,765 'N Sync sites.

4. Every time you type the phrase "saucer of milk" computer meows.

3. Turns computer monitor into television that only shows CBS.

2. E-mails your friends telling them you actually bought one of those George Foreman grills.

1. It's programmed to go off sometime in the year 1963.