A guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high
school. Unfortunately, he still has to share a room
with his younger brother who is only 9 years old.

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for
a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices
that his little brother is already asleep on the lower
bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top
bunk.

As you might expect things start to heat up.
The guy remembers that his little brother issleeping
below so he tells his girlfriend to whisper "lettuce"
if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she wants a new
position.
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
She screams.
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Whoa!!!
PULL IT OUT!!!
PULL IT OUT NOW!!!
I can't get pregnant!

Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you
guys stop making sandwiches up there! You're getting
mayonnaise all over my face!