Comebacks To "Why Aren't You Married Yet?"...

I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

Because I just love hearing this question.

It gives my mother something to live for.

My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole.

Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to the Producers?

It didn't seem worth a blood test.

Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

Why aren't you thin?