A man was brought before the judge and charged with necrophilia. The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and throw away the key!"

The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons;
#1, It's none of your damn business;
#2, She was my wife;
and.....
#3, I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way!"