Ah yes, sagely words of wisdom...

My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce.

The long walks we used to take. The long drives. The special trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him -- and the advice he used to give! much was wasted because I was young when he died. If he were alive today and sharing his gems of wisdom, I'd be a better man.

Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when he paused, looked me in the eye and said, "Don't marry a woman with big hands. It makes your dick look smaller."