The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject.

After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied he harangued (someone subscribes to bigwords.com!) for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen minutes and repeated his question. With all thoughts now on Sunday dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the rear.

"Ms. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any."

"Ms. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-three."

"Ms. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person can live to ninety-three and not have an enemy in the world."

The little sweetheart of a lady teetered down the aisle, very slowly turned around & said: "It's easy. I just outlived the sons of bitches."