Customer: "Excuse me, do you know where the taby, thingamabobers are?"
Employee: "Yea, by the whatchamacallits on aisle 6."

Customer: "Do you carry Ink Eradicators? All of the other places do."
Employee: "I think so. I saw 'em by the Ink Accelerators on aisle 4."

Customer: "Wheres the thin plastic strips with sticky stuff on the back that you stick things to other things with?"
Employee: "Hmm... that's a tough one... The closest we have is tape."

Customer: "Can you help me find something?"
Employee: "Nope! I'm going to stand here and laugh at you a bit more..."

Customer: "Excuse me. Do you work here?"
Employee: "Oh... Sorry. I just dress up like this five days a week because I like messing with people's minds..."

Customer: "Excuse me. Do you look like you work here?"
Employee: "(no comment)"

Customer: "Where are the little flat black things you put in computers?"
Employee: "Hmm. I think they are in the computer section next to the disks."

Customer: "I'm having trouble with my computers coffee holder. Do you carry replacements?"
Employee: (commits hari-kari on the spot)

Customer: "This item doesn't have a price on it. Does that mean it's free?"
Employee: "Yes. That's one of the items we paid with "free money" with."

Customer: "Excuse me. Is there a manager in this store?"
Employee: "Nope. Sorry, we only have someone with a "Manager" name tag on to throw people off."

Customer: "Can I open this?"
Employee: "Sure. I'm sure it's different on the inside of the clear wrapping."

Customer: "Do you have a shopping cart?"
Employee: "I think so. Let me look in my pocket. Oh! We moved em out to the parking lot!"