These are reportedly actual ads that have appeared in newspapers across the country.

- Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

- A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

- Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

- For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

- Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

- Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

- Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand