On their first day at infants school, the teacher asked all the children to stand up and introduce themselves to the rest of the class by telling everyone their first names.

She finally asked a boisterous young boy, who was sat with his feet on a table, to tell everyone his name.

"I'll give you a clue," he said. "first it's in a woman's hand, then it's in her mouth, and then it's between her legs!"

The shocked and startled teacher stared at the young boy in disbelief. She then composed herself and said: "OK, thank you Dick, you can sit down now!"