"Performance Appraisal Terms And Their Real Meanings"

Great Presentation Skills - Able to bullcrap

Good Communication Skills - Spends a lot of time on phone

Average Employee - Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified - Made no major blunders yet

Work Is First Priority - Too ugly to get a date

Active Socially - Drinks a lot

Family Is Active Socially - Spouse drinks, too

Independent Worker - Nobody knows what s/he does

Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision

Aggressive - Obnoxious

Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs - Gets someone else to do it

Expresses Him/herself Well - Speaks English

Meticulous Attention To Detail - A nit picker

Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally Good Judgment - Lucky

Keen Sense Of Humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes

Career Minded - Back Stabber

Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else