*** A gushy reporter told Jack Nicklaus, "You are spectacular, and your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the golf course. What's your secret?"

Nicklaus replied, "The holes are numbered."

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*** A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"

The young man says, "An 8--iron, father. How about you?"

The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."

The young man hits his 8--iron and puts his ball on the green.

The priest tops his 7--iron and dribbles the ball a few yards.

The young man says,"I don't know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down."

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An American went to Scotland and played golf with a newly acquainted Scottish golfer. After a bad tee shot, he played a "Mulligan" which was an extremely good one. He then asked the Scot, "What do you call a Mulligan in Scotland?"

"We call it hitting 3"