A modern day cowboy spent many days crossing the desert without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He was crawling through the sand, certain he's breathed his last, when suddenly, he spotted object sticking out of the sand a few yards ahead. He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand, and discovered what appeared to be an old brief case.

When he opened it, a genie popped out. But this was no ordinary genie. She is wearing an Internal Revenue Service ID badge and a dull gray dress. There was a calculator in her pocketbook and a pencil tucked behind one ear.

"Well, cowboy," said the genie, "You know how this works. You have three wishes."

"I'm not falling for this," said the cowboy. "You can't expect me to trust an IRS auditor genie."

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"

The man thought about that for a minute or two, and decided the genie was right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."

***POOF***

The cowboy found himself in the most beautiful oasis he'd ever seen, surrounded by jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."

"I wish I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF***

The man found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the man said, "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story? If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.