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The Computer Hillbillies

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed,
A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed,
But one day he was talking to a recruiter,
Who said, "they pay big bucks if ya work on a computer..."

UNIX, that is... CRTs... Workstations...

Well, the first thing ya know ol' Jed's an Engineer.
The kinfolk said "Jed, move away from here".
They said "Arizona is the place ya oughta be",
So he bought a box of donuts and he moved to Ahwatukee...

Intel, that is... dry heat... no amusement parks...

On his first day at work, they stuck him in a cube.
Fed him mo' donuts and sat him at a tube.
Said "yo project's outta budget, but we know just what to do.
Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you 52!"

OT, that is... unpaid... mandatory...

The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad.
Schedules were slipping and the boss was getting mad.
They called another meeting and decided on a fix.
The answer was simple... "We'll work him sixty-six!"

Tired, that is... stressed out... no social life...

Months turned to years and his hair was turning grey.
Jed worked hard while his life just slipped away.
Waiting to retire when he turned to 64,
Instead he got a call and escorted out the door.

Laid off, that is... lead hand shake... unemployed...

Now the moral of the story is listen to what you're told,
Companies will use you and discard you when you're old.
So gather up your friends and start your own firm,
Beat the competition, watch the bosses squirm.

Millionaires, that is... Andy Grove... Bill Gates...

Y'all come back now... ya hear'




Squish Date 07/22/1998

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