One morning a man comes into the church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and splashed some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches.

An alter boy witnessed the scene and ran to tell the priest what he'd just seen. Without batting an eye, the priest said, "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle. Tell me, where is this man?"

"Flat on his ass over by the holy water, Father."