"Military Tattoos"

A girl fell in love with a sailor and had his picture tattooed on her right breast. The romance waned. In due time, she fell in love with a soldier and had his picture tattooed on her left breast. This romance also waned.

Sometime later, she fell in love with a marine and married him. That night when they were undressing for bed he began to laugh. She asked, "What in the world is so funny?" He said, "Oh, I'm just thinking what long faces those two guys are going to have in about ten years from now."

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"Yes & No"

A man went into a tattoo parlor and asked the owner if he would tattoo the words "yes" and "no" on his penis. The owner agreed, and the tattooing was underway. When the job was complete, the man thought his new tattoo looked great, and he paid for the service.

That night when the man went home he approached his wife in their bedroom. He stripped off his pants, then his boxer shorts, and there was his aroused organ displaying his newly acquired tattoo.

He asked his wife, "Well Honey, what do you think of my new tattoo?"

His wife became upset. She said...

"You tell me how to cook..." "You tell me how to clean the house..." "You tell me how to do the laundry..."

"And now you are going to put words in my mouth!"