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Viagra

If a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut?

If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use?
A growth chart?

I dropped a Viagra in a jar of small sweet pickles last night and this morning had a jar full of big Kosher dills.

If I give my computer monitor Viagra, will the screen get bigger?

I would only take Viagra for intellectual purposes, so my head would swell.

What would happen if you gave Viagra to a 2x4?
Turn a 2X4 into a stud?
Get a 3x12?

Viagra jokes are getting pretty limp, but they keep popping up.

Before Viagra, for some people, making love was classified as "assault with a dead weapon."

MSNBC's Time and Again, brought to you by Viagra.

Viagra Falls, the new waterfall that flows upward.

Viagra, medicine's version of "MIRACLE-GRO.

Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.

Are you taking Viagra or are you just happy to see me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Top 16 Side Effects of the Impotency Pill

16> Maybe Private Johnson remembered how to stand at attention, but now he won't stand at ease.

15> No longer need help keeping the ribbon in place while tying a bow.

14> When taken by a woman, she becomes instantly unable to ask for directions.

13> #1 Florida Bumper Sticker? "Don't Come A-Knockin' if the Lincoln's A-Rockin'!"

12> Strom Thurmond shows up at the White House and offers to give the interns a tour of the "Washington Monument."

11> Sales of flour skyrocket as hordes of happy grannies start baking up a storm.

10> Productivity at work soars, due to new "11 finger" typing method.

9> One-hour delayed response forces men to finally learn foreplay techniques.

8> Republican-sponsored "War on Prostitution" bill immediately withdrawn from Senate floor.

7> Sudden irresistible urge for Quarter-Pounders and Interns.

6> NRA memberships and Corvette/Jaguar sales plummet.

5> "Hi, I'm John. What's a nice girl like you do--Hey! What are you staring at?!"

4> "Y'know, that Linda Tripp's not a bad looking woman..."

3> Them baggy Jeans no longer slippin' off your butt all the time.

2> Finally -- a place to put your morning bagel during your morning commute!

and the Number 1 Side Effect of the Impotency Pill...

1> Looks like you can kiss your hopes of winning that Limbo Championship goodbye.




Squish Date 05/20/1998

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