Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat!

Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthang

California: As Seen on TV!

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts... Only Dirtier and With Less Character

Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water!

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids!

Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not; But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal-Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky:Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians

Minnesota: "10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes"

Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: Ya Wanna ##$%##!in' Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##!in' Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent. You Have the Right to an Attorney...

North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really are One of the 50 States!

Ohio: We Wish We Were In Michigan

Oklahoma: Like the Play, only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender...

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee:The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Ah-Yup

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Being Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family------Really!

Wisconsin: Eat Cheese or Die

Wyoming: Wynot?