Your honor, I am 86 years old. So here I am, sitting there on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits beside me. He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your Honor. So, I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honor.

Why, Your Honor, I haven't felt that good in years! So, I just spread my old legs and say to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"

And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!