access time: foreplay

Bandwidth: limited by the size of the stage

BBS: t-telling t-tall s-stories

CASE: 24 bottles

Control Character: prison guard

Conventional memory: remembering what you did at COMDEX

copy protection: wearing a rubber

DAT: the opposite of DIS

end user: a prisoner's cell mate

group ware: clothes swapping

hacker: a heavy smoker

hand scanner: singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings

heap: what I drive

hypertext: text on amphetamines

integrated circuit: a circuit with black & white components

lost chains: euphoria experienced by the recently divorced

main memory: remembering where the water line is

native mode: head hunting

plotter: a deceitful person

postscript: graffiti on a pole

spreadsheet: a hooker's foreplay

subroutine: not quite routine

surge protector: a condom

token ring: a group of people passing the bong

track ball: what sprinters and runners often get

worksheet: a prostitute's office