Goldberg and his wife were about to celebrate 50 years together. The three kids, all very successful careerists, but not as attentive as the parents would have liked, agreed to a Sunday dinner at the old folks house. Of course, they were all late, as usual, and the excuses flowed like wine:

"Happy Anniversary, Dad!" gushed son # 1..."I'm sorry I'm running late...had an emergency at the hospital, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to stop to get you guys a present!" "Not to worry!" said the old man..."The important thing is, we're together!"

Son #2 came rushing in. "POPS! you're lookin' good! And MOM! you're still beautiful, love! I just got in from L.A. where I closed a big deal! Came straight from the airport, and didn't have time to buy you a gift...I'm so sorry!" "It's nothing," said Goldberg...we're together, that's the main thing!"

Daughter: "Mom, Dad, the firm is shipping me to Europe for a conference....I gotta run as soon as din-din's over...didn't have time for a shopping trip!"

Goldberg sighed, "I don't care, we just like being together!" Halfway through the meal, Goldberg, in a reflective mood, said.."Listen, you three...Something's been on my mind, and I want to tell you about it.....your Momma and I...well, we came to this country during the war, penniless, desperate... and in the struggle to survive, I'm afraid we never got around to getting married....we just knew we loved each other, and after a few years, it didn't seem important, so...."

The three offspring, with a collective gasp, said, "DAD! You mean...you mean to say...we're...BASTARDS?"

"YEAH, and CHEAP ones, too!" retorted the old man.