I was in the hospital, Thelma writes, and my husband was visiting. He was trying to stop smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A lady said to him, 'Sir, there's no smoking in here.'

My husband said, 'I'm not smoking.'

'But you have a cigar in your mouuth,' the lady said.

'Lady, ' my husband answered, 'I've got on Jockey shorts, too, but I'm not riding a horse.'