Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

Practice Safe Sex. Go Screw Yourself.

If You Drink Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.

If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.

My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

Illiterate? Write For Help

Cover Me -- I'm Changing Lanes

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

I Haven't Lost My Mind -- It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph
.....Are Also Timed For 70 mph

Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

Ax Me About Ebonics

Body By Nautilus. Brain By Mattel

Boldly Going Nowhere

Cat: The Other White Meat

Caution -- Driver Legally Blonde!

Don't Be Sexist -- Broads Hate That

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

Warning! Driver Only Carries $20 In Ammunition