"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
George Burns.

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde.

"My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman. Still, I've got another three goes."
Sally Poplin.

"Mom & Pop were just a couple of kids when they got married. He was eighteen, she was sixteen and I was three."
Billie Holiday.

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."
Ogden Nash.

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."
George Burns.