Four worms were placed in 4 jars

First worm was placed in a jar filled with alcohol
Second worm was placed in a jar filled with cigarette smoke
Third worm was placed in a jar filled with sperm
The last worm was placed in a jar filled with soil.

After one day,
First worm was dead;
Second worm was dead;
Third worm was dead;
Fourth worm was still alive.

Lesson:
As long as you drink, smoke, and have sex you won't get worms!