D A M I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait' till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone for single women Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

D U M E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can result in dangerously low IQ causing enjoyment of country and western music.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.